COMMUNITY

The Power of Community in Your Life

I wonder if most people really understand how much the communities that we associate with can influence all of our habits, actions, choices and outcomes in our lives?

If we do realize that, do we also understand that we have the power to choose who we do associate with?

There is a principle out there called "The Power of Association". What it boils down to is that we as humans have a natural tendency to become like those who we spend the most time around. Think back to your childhood. Did your parents ever tell you that they didn't want you hanging around "Little Johnnie" who lived down the street because he was always getting into trouble? They didn't want you to be drawn in to joining him in his delinquent activities.

Never had your parents say something like that to you? Maybe you were the "Little Johnnie" in your neighborhood? Food for thought!

Here's the funny part about that whole scenario. At what age do we grow out of that tendency? Is it 18 or so when we finally get out of high school? Nope, all you have to do is look at how many college kids get sucked into all kinds of bad habits when they are off without parental supervision 24/7.

What about when we finally get out of college and become a working adult? Nope, wrong again!

The real truth is that we never grow out of that stage. It is a fundamental trait of human nature. If we never learn the concept and the power it has to shape and mold our lives, we will unwittingly begin to conform to the actions, habits and thought processes of those people who we spend the most time around.

This will continue happening to us even when we are 90 years old, if we survive that long! I do suspect that as we approach our more elderly years that many people begin to discover this more and more on their own and at least develop some tendencies to be slower to adopt new traits from the community around them. You know, the old, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" concept! However, I'm sure that it still exists as a fundamental human tendency.

There are long term studies out there that show that, if we take the average of the 5 people around us who we spend the most time around, in almost any category, that will be a pretty good description of our personal condition in that category. That can apply to areas like our jobs, our marriages, our children and family life, our finances, the general types of cars we drive, our social habits, our religious beliefs and on and on.

We become like the people we spend the most time around. Either that or we tend to find and settle in to communities where the majority of the people are much like ourselves because that is where we find ourselves the most comfortable. THEN, we begin to assimilate many other of the traits that our chosen community possesses.

Do we have the power to resist or control this process in our own lives or is it inevitable?

Yes we do...IF we are aware of the fact that this tendency exists.

It is not hard to look around us and find those within almost any group of people who choose not to conform to the norms around them in every way. Take a work situation for example. There may be a few people in any job setting who feel compelled to be in a certain work environment because they feel like they don't have any real choice in the matter. Yet, they are aware that the social norms among their fellow workers do not conform to their religious or moral standards so they make a concerted effort to consciously keep themselves from accepting and slipping into the thought and action patterns of their co-workers.

However, if we look outside of the narrow parameters of their existing belief system, we may find that many other parts of their life still conform to the group!

So why all of this seemingly negative discussion here?

Because the fact is that there is a flip side to this principle as well! That is, that if we wish to change some aspect of our lives in a more positive direction, we can do so by consciously changing the communities of people that we spend the most time with! We can change the influences that surround us on a daily basis by changing the people we choose to spend our time with!

Look for groups of people who are where you want to be in your life or seem to have habits that you want to develop. For instance, if you want to begin taking better care of your health, wouldn't it make more sense to quit hanging around your group of buddies who value coming home in the evening and popping a can of beer or soda and sitting in front of the TV all evening. Instead of that, head down to the gym and start spending your time around people who are working out and talking about taking care of their health every day!

This can apply to any area of your life.

Want a better marriage or family life? Find a group of people with great results in that area and spend time with them.

Want to make more money? It will be hard to do if you allow the thinking processes of your current group of friends to influence your decisions in that area. If they don't have the results that you want, be very cautious about taking their advice seriously.

Want to get your spiritual life in order? I can promise you that those who are influencing you in that area right now are not going to help you grow your faith all of a sudden. It is going to require that you seek out a new community to associate with where a healthy spiritual life is the norm instead of the exception.

It works in almost any area of your life! Beware of your "Little Johnnies"!

Here is a special danger zone to watch out for too. Sometimes our "Little Johnnies" are lurking in groups of people who we have been taught to just naturally trust. Those can be in groups that can seem to be pretty benign on the surface. A couple that come to mind are our families or our schools and even our churches. All of these areas, under normal circumstances should be places of refuge and safety from bad thinking processes. But they are not always so.

Keep a weather eye out for people in your community who tend to be negative, critical or caustic about the areas where you wish to make changes and improvements in your life.

Our God made this world a place of marvelous abundance and also made us with the incredible ability to chase excellence and literally change ourselves to become anything that we desire. Never let your community obscure that truth from your thinking processes! Surround yourself with those who will support your aspirations and encourage your pursuit of excellence!

Have an awesome day!