The Search For Truth!

Finishing up the single best book I have ever read! (outside of the scriptures) It's called L.I.F.E. Living Intentionally For Excellence by Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady.

It is designed to make you think and man is it ever working! I've been reading it for several weeks now and literally every day, it gets me looking at my life from another direction and asking myself some significant questions.

Today it's got me thinking about how adverse we are sometimes to wanting to know and learn to apply truth in our lives!

I don't think that's even what I was specifically reading about but you know how one thought leads to another...

Why is it that we are so unwilling to listen to truth at times?

Usually because it upsets our carefully constructed little "comfort zone". Or as Orrin and Chris say, it's not really a "comfort" zone as much as it is a "familiar" zone because it usually isn't really all that comfortable, just familiar!

It really has more to do with our innate resistance to the principle of change than almost anything else!

That, for most people is probably the need to feel "right" about what we think in our own little inner sphere of who we are.

We are attacked so often from the outside world telling us that we are making mistakes or beating us down for one reason or another that we feel compelled to jealously guard our own little inner self image of who we are. That image is largely created out of our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

After all, how many of us just naturally think that everything we believe is wrong? Naahh...I don't think so!

So how does that play into the search for truth? Why can't we just operate from our current perception of things and be just fine?

The glaringly simple answer to that is...because there is truth in this world in all it's many different facets.

Isn't this obsession we have with "victim-hood" (and complaining about everything under the sun) in our world today a classic example of being unwilling to accept truth and adjust our actions to deal with it properly?

How many of us are looking around us and listening to the news and deploring the current state of affairs but are doing nothing but talking about it?

Isn't that exactly the same thing as any other form of "victim-hood" that we see in the world today?

Another example; here in Idaho (and many other places too) one of our favorite pastimes is complaining about the weather! Isn't that another form of "victim-hood"?

If we would really embrace a full picture of the truth...Don't like the weather? Then quit being a victim and...move to somewhere you do like it!!!

I know, I'm as guilty as the next person! I think I'll work on that one!

Let's explore another example. Suppose I was born with the genes to become 7'10" tall. Remember that the standard door height all across America is 6'8". So all of my life I would be required to duck my head every time I walked through a door or walk around with a permanent bruise on it!

At this point I can either accept the truth and learn to use it to propel myself forward and upward with my unique gift or I can continually proclaim my "victim-hood" and spend the rest of my life complaining about the unfairness and mistreatment I am required to endure because millions of thoughtless people refuse to change their doorways to accommodate me.

I can become a martyr to my cause by refusing to accept the truth of the situation around me . I can proudly refuse to duck my head when attempting to negotiate conventional doorways. I can proclaim my bruised forehead as a symbol of the injustices of the rest of the human race against me. I can seek to legally make the entire rest of the world conform to my particular set of circumstances.

OR...

I can accept truth! I was blessed with my own unique set of talents, abilities and circumstances from which to build my life. I can use my uniqueness to bless the rest of the world by my contributions to it. I can build on the truths I've been given and make my life a continual search for more and more truth to build upon!

When we learn to build with building blocks of truth, our walls will never crumble because of the cracks of imperfections in them.

The quality of our lives has a direct correlation to our willingness to seek out, recognize and act upon complete truths in the world around us.

Our lives and the world around us are full of partial truths that hamper our ability to excel in every important area of our lives.

Many of our problems arise from partial truths or even outright untruths in our view of the world around us.

Many of those mistaken ideas come from some of the most seemingly benign places. Our peers, our education, our family or ethnic or cultural traditions, our political or even our religious backgrounds can all be sources of some partial truths that are maybe even almost right...but not quite.

If you build an entire castle of belief and action on a foundation that has an occasional faulty block in it, can you begin to see how the integrity of the entire structure can be at risk of failure?

I challenge each of us to become avid seekers after real truth.

Learn to apply the same standard across the board to all of your beliefs. Often we hold different beliefs about different subjects that if we were to stack them up side by side we would find that we were applying an entirely different and sometimes even opposite set of standards to come to our conclusions!

Those are the hidden places that cause us problems in our lives!

You've got a left foot and a right foot that are similar yet different. It's like trying to run a marathon with a nice comfortable running shoe (truth) on the one foot and a fancy, 4 inch, spiked heeled, formal, dress shoe (partial truth, it's still a shoe) on the other!

It's going to cause you a lot of pain and discomfort because of the lack of wisdom in applying complete truth in both cases!

So here's the reality! Until we begin pulling the weeds of untruth out of our own lives and begin banding together as a community of people all dedicated to the pursuit of truth and right, we will never be able to fix our society today!

As long as the forces of untruth can keep us divided and grumbling among ourselves while they shout their untruths in organized unison long enough, they will win. It's that simple.

We need to be united in our pursuit of personal excellence based on truth.

Striving for excellence in every area of our lives is what allows us to begin avoiding the pain that comes from taking action on a faulty assumption.

Excellence in ourselves builds excellence in our families, which builds excellence in our communities, which builds excellence in our states, which leads to excellence in our country, which...I think you get the picture!

Learn more about the LIFE book by Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady on our Products page!

Have an awesome day!

Life Lessons From My "Career" In Sports!

This recent focus of mine to run 1000 miles in a year has had me thinking a lot about my "career" in sports!

I've often pondered some of the great life lessons that I've learned from all of my years of playing sports competitively and for fun.

I thought it would be fun to share a series of posts here on some of my personal victories and defeats and some of the principles that they have driven home to me over the years!

It could sound like a lot of boasting (and honestly there is probably a little bit of that) but I hope you will listen for the lessons I've learned and forgive an old guy a few trips down memory lane for the sake of a teaching moment!

First of all, I'm well aware that I'm no Michael Jordan or Jerry Rice etc! I was probably only a little above average as a high school kid and I never did make the college sports scene.

I grew up loving football and in elementary school I was introduced to track and field and did pretty well at it. I never was any good at baseball and eventually found that basketball neatly filled the empty time in the winter between my other two favorites.

I was good enough to letter in 3 sports for 3 or 4 years in high school and to start on the football and basketball teams 3 of those years but that's about it. There were lots of personal victories and defeats along the way and those are what I want to share with you and see if I can convey what they have taught me.

I'll start with what I have always considered my greatest personal victory in sports.
Interestingly, it came in a team event in what is normally a sport dedicated to individual performances.

I've won many ribbons, medals and awards over the years including a medal at the state track meet, but the one that has always stood out to me happened in 8th grade in a tiny little town called Bowie, Az. Why, because I learned more about myself in one minute there than maybe at any other time in my life!

It was towards the end of my first year in a new school. We had a track meet at our neighboring rivals with 5 or 6 different schools there. I actually had a good day there, I think I won 4 blue ribbons in all now that I think about it. But I don't have any memories of the other events.

One of those blue ribbons though still occupies an honored place in my office even today.

One of the last events of the day was the 4 X 440 yd relay. It's a race where a team of 4 guys each runs a full lap around the 1/4 mile track before handing off the baton to the next teammate. First team to complete 4 laps wins!

I think I was the only one of the four on our team who had much experience running this race. The other guys were more accustomed to the shorter sprints or other events. So I was the one whose job it was to run the final, or anchor leg.

Normally, in high school, the 440 is almost an all-out sprint for the entire lap and is strategically a very difficult race. However in junior high it requires an even more disciplined approach. You have to figure out how to run as hard as you can but still have enough energy left to finish at a full sprint. Finding that balance is the real challenge!

I had the opportunity to run a lot of relays through the years with some really talented athletes. But this one taught me a personal lesson about "how bad do you want it"!

My teammates performed admirably, but when my turn came to take the baton for the final lap, there was one team that had pulled ahead of us by some 10-15 yards.

Now that doesn't seem like a lot until you realize that you only have one lap to make it up in and you are trying to do it against the other school's best runner who has his heart set on maintaining that lead for his team.

On top of that it just happened to be our arch rivals who we had to catch!

As my teammate was racing towards me, I realized that I had a split second decision to make. I could either run my normal race strategy and hope for the best at the end, which would probably result in a second place finish or I had to think of something quickly!

With a lead like they had, nobody was going to be angry at me if I couldn't overcome it. But it's at times like that when you need to learn to ask yourself one of life's defining questions...

What If?

Are you willing to "leave it all on the field" for the chance at a victory? Or will you allow yourself to be content with second place?

I knew second place was in the bag, but...What If...I could catch him???

The chances of having enough gas left to overtake him at the finish line were slim and risky at best.

So I made the decision that if we had any chance at all at winning, I had to catch him right now and hope to out-last him to the finish line.

With a successful hand-off from my teammates who had given it their all to put us in a position to have any chance at all...I took off at a dead sprint as hard as I could go!

I actually caught him at about the 100 yard mark and in my young junior high mind, I thought I had him beat! I thought that when he saw me catch him so fast, it would be so demoralizing that he would just give up and I'd breeze right on by to a victory!

But I had forgotten to count on his own intense competitive spirit! There was no give in this guy! He wanted to win as badly as I did!

So rather than settle into a nice easy reserved pace until the final 100 yard sprint for the finish, he took my challenge! It immediately escalated into an all-out sprint with over 300 yards still to go!

This was the part that I hadn't counted on! I had not prepared myself for this obstacle! I had thought that my initial sprint from a fresh start would assure me a victory.

Isn't that how life usually works? We sprint off after a new victory, thinking that we will get it done in the initial rush of effort, only to find that almost anything worth while requires real time, effort and perseverance!

Back to the race. I now found myself locked in one of the defining battles of my life!

We were both good sprinters so nobody could gain any significant advantage for the next 250+ yards. It really settled down to a contest of who could hold on to this killing pace for the longest.

You're running all-out, lungs screaming for air, legs beginning to turn to rubber, brain telling you to STOP torturing yourself, it's only a stupid junior high track meet for heaven's sake! Can I keep going longer than him? Is he going to give up first or am I?

But something deep down in the human spirit is programmed to win! To become the best we possibly can! To give our all to something we deem worthy of our efforts! Can we endure to the end? Can we win at what's important to us no matter what the naysayers and competition may throw at us?

On that day I learned that if I could hold on long enough, if I wanted it bad enough, if I could keep going even when it seemed impossible, I could win at what was important to me!

We came into the final 100 yard straight-a-way neck and neck, then somewhere about the 50 yard mark, I saw him begin to fade. Somehow I had been blessed with a little bit more stamina or a little bit more adrenalin that allowed me to keep going just a little bit longer than my challenger!

I don't know how much we won by that day because that was not what was important. The victory was what was important for our team. I don't know if any of my teammates or my opponents even remember that day because in the grand scheme of things it was really almost irrelevant.

It was an obscure little junior high track meet at an out-of-the-way little school somewhere in the Arizona desert. But for me it was a day that will probably live forever in my memory, not necessarily for the victory in the race, but definitely for the lessons that I'm reminded of every time I see that little blue ribbon on the wall in my office!

I can win! I can persevere even when it's extremely difficult! You have to keep going UNTIL IT'S DONE! If it's worthy of your time, never, never, never give up!

Final Update - 1000 Miles!!! & Life Lessons

It's June 1, 2011 and one of the biggest physical goals of my life is in the bag!

I ended my running year yesterday with a nice easy 5 miles to finish off the past year with a grand total of 1016 miles! Mission accomplished!

The real crowning victory came on Monday May 16,2011 when I put myself over the 1000 mile mark with my 2nd ever full marathon! It was pretty pathetic as marathons go because I hadn't done a full training program to prepare for it. But I got it done and even beat my previous time by over 7 minutes!

The feeling of passing that 1000 mile mark at mile #21 was exhilarating! I've known for a couple of weeks that I was going to make it. But still, you never know what might come up that could stop you. So actually being able to cross that finish line left me with a huge sense of accomplishment!

Be sure to read the series of posts immediately following this one for the full story.

As I've mentioned elsewhere the most important thing about this personal victory is not even the physical accomplishment itself, but the incredible life lessons that I have learned in the process!

I have to add one more important piece of the puzzle that I learned just this last week! That is, that one important piece of the goal setting process is that you MUST give yourself the reward that you promised yourself at the end.

Lest you think that this is my own personal wisdom, relax, it's not! I learned this important principle from a gentleman named Dan Hawkins.

If you set a goal and attached a reward to it for when you actually achieve it, absolutely do not deny yourself that reward for any reason.

Even if it sounds honorable, (i.e. we really can't afford to do that right now and besides the goal got done anyway...etc) the reality is that ultimately, you will have lied to yourself!

More importantly, you will have lied to your subconscious self.

The problem is that your subconscious will have gone out of it's way to help you achieve the goal only to ultimately find out that you tricked it.

The next time you go to set another big goal, a big part of you will be reluctant to get involved and push for it because, after all we really don't like being lied to, right!

Sounds crazy, but this is a powerful point! Build your own inner honor and integrity so that all parts of you will be in harmony and willing to give 100% to whatever it is that you deem worthy of your efforts!

For me it was a brand new pair of nice running shoes! That ended up being the perfect exclamation point to a great personal achievement!

It has left me now looking forward to the next big life changing personal goal!

After all, I've heard it said over and over that the real glory of reaching a goal is not what you accomplish so much as it is who you become along the way! Amen to that!

Running 1000 miles, while it has been good for me, is not nearly so important as the life lessons that I have learned along the way and that will impact everything that I do for the rest of my life!

What's on your "Bucket List"? What great life lessons can you learn from the pursuit of your dreams?

(Continued Below)

The Value And Price Of Personal Victory!

What do you do when the economy deals you a blow like it has so many of us in the last couple of years?

As we look around us we see so many people who have allowed the loss of a job or a career to wreck their lives.

Let me tell you my story of how, when one door closes in your face, there is always another one somewhere else that opens for you!

Sometimes the way God catapults us out of our comfortable complacency is to completely jerk the rug out from under our feet! It's the definition of a "wake up call!"

So what do we do when that happens? It can seem like our whole world is falling apart, especially when it's a financial problem.

I've learned that the best way to keep our attitudes up and keep pressing forward is to realize that finances, as important as they are, are only one part of our lives.

What has helped me tremendously is to make sure that I don't stop moving forward in all the other areas of my life.

This is the story of how, this past year, I've been able to set and achieve a huge goal for myself even while other parts of my life weren't perfect.

The funny thing is, I have never been a big goal setter before. I think that's going to change after this experience!

It all started about 5 or 6 years ago when the basketball team I played with kind of dissolved. I needed something to do to stay active, so I took up running.

I've never really been a distance runner before, but I figured that I could work into it and maybe even one day run a marathon.

For several years I did it fairly regularly but never very consistently. I had fun keeping myself motivated by keeping track of my Personal Records (PR's) at different distances.

Occasionally, I would run in a 5K race, just for fun, but the longest distance I had ever gotten to was 12 1/2 miles. That's a far cry from a full-blown marathon.

(Continued Below)

Inspiration From Past Victories!

So last spring I was talking with another friend who was kind of a casual runner too and they suggested that we start training more seriously and do a half marathon at the end of the summer.

That sounded interesting, but I didn't think it would be much of a challenge. I figured there was a pretty good chance I could run one right then if I wanted to.

So the next day being a Saturday, I decided to give it a try. I made it 14 miles, slightly more than the 13.1 required for a half marathon, but it took everything I had!

As I was recovering from that, I was still being driven by the desire to set some kind of a big fitness goal for the next year to push myself towards.

With my construction business falling apart, I really needed a win in my life right now.

It was then that I remembered my grade school P.E. teacher Mr. Ken Harris and a contest that he created for all the kids in school from 5th through 12th grades. He called it the Mullinville 500!

The object was to start tracking our running and walking mileage and see if we could accumulate 500 miles, no matter how long it took. No pressure. You could totally do it at your own pace.

The funny thing was, I was one of the first 10 kids to finish out of the whole school! I also held the record for several years of being the youngest one to finish by more than a year.

It took me 2 years to do it back then as a fifth and sixth grader.

So fast-forward to 2010, almost 40 years later. Could I, at 49-50 years old possibly do it again, but this time in only 1 year?

As I started calculating what it would take, I realized that if I'd just do a 4 mile run with a half mile warm-up and a half mile cool down walk 3 times a week, I'd easily get it done in a year. That would even allow for several bad weather days in the winter and spring!

Hmmm... so why not?

Plus, by being consistent, maybe I'd be able to get in good enough shape to do a half marathon a little easier. Then the big one! Wouldn't it be cool if I could actually finish a full marathon? That would be a big check mark off of the ole "bucket list" for me!

So I created for myself what I called the IPFC 500! The International Personal Fitness Challenge!

As part of my goal I created several different charts and then some award certificates with my IPFC 500 logo on them, that I could earn for reaching certain milestones along the way.

(Continued Below)

Can Your Goal Become An Obsession?

Now I had a goal! To run/walk 500 miles between June 1, 2010 and May 31, 2011! I also had the means to track myself and reward myself for achieving it.

What happened next has literally boggled my mind!

What started out as a simple goal to keep up my basic normal pace, except to become consistent with it, soon became an obsession!

I started out the first month on my 4 miles 3 times per week plan with some longer runs thrown in on the weekends.

Then the second month two things happened. Because of my consistency, I started getting in better shape and consequently started breaking some of my long time PRs!

Secondly, I ended up going over 100 miles for the month! I had never really planned for that to happen.

So in August, I decided to step up the pace to 5 miles 3 times a week. Nothing that spectacular happened and I didn't quite hit 100 miles that month but it did set me up for a great September!

I was cookin' in September! I broke 9 personal records that month, almost 1 every other time I ran! I was feeling great!

Then as the end of the month drew nearer, it dawned on me that if I could step up the pace just a little bit more, I was on track to hit my 500 mile goal by the end of October! That was only five months into my year!

(Continued Below)

Chasing A Dream!

This is where the real obsession began!

I'd tried a couple of times to run a marathon on my own around our area, but had only made it 16 and 20 miles respectively. By the end of September I felt I was ready to try again.

On the morning of October 1, I headed out. The area we live in is laid out in 1 mile square blocks, so it makes it pretty easy to track your distance.

5 hours and 8 minutes later I put a big fat check mark on one of my lifetime dreams of completing a full marathon!

It really went fairly well too. I didn't experience running into "the wall" that most people talk about. But rather, just kept plugging along till it was finished!

A lot of my friends were amazed that I could do it by myself without the pressure of competition to keep me going.

But I was just getting rolling!

On my next 2 runs I smashed a couple of more PR's again! I ended the month with 6 new PR's including running a half marathon on each of the 4 weekends after the full marathon!

I closed out October with 510 total miles on my charts!

Mission accomplished!

I had never pushed so hard for a goal in my life! I couldn't believe that I had actually run 500 miles in 5 months! That was a huge morale booster!

It also proved to me that I could actually set a goal and be driven to achieve it! Maybe there were some lessons to be learned here!

(Continued Below)

Pursuing Excellence Has A Price!

But wait... We are not done yet!

I still had 7 months left in my year! Could it be possible that even with Idaho's nasty winter and spring weather, that I could get in another 500 miles and actually hit 1000 before my original deadline?

Hmmm... let's go for it!

Almost immediately I hit some huge obstacles to that goal.

I hadn't done enough studying to know that you are supposed to take a 3 week break from running after you finish a marathon to give your body adequate recovery.

Oooops! I don't think that running 110 miles including 4 half marathons in the next four weeks, quite fits that proper training picture!

I quickly found out that I had hugely elevated my lactic acid levels and that my potassium and electrolyte levels were seriously depleted.

For the next 3 months, I literally could barely run and ended up with pulled muscles in my legs 3 or 4 times. It was frustrating!

But I kept on persevering. When I couldn't run, I would walk. Unless the temperature was below zero, I'd still get out and do 4 miles or so. I learned not to listen to "Eye of the Tiger"and other motivational music on my iPod because it would get my adrenaline up and I'd blow another muscle out!

By the end of January, I had only added another 116 miles in three months, but I was starting to feel better.

The next problem was that February in Idaho is a very cold month and then March through May tend to be cold, very windy and miserable.

How bad did I want this goal? 1000 miles in a year was something that I never imagined I could do, even when I started this journey.

Here it was, well within my reach if I could just buckle down, deal with the weather and stay healthy.

I needed to put together almost 4-100 mile months to put this thing in the bag!

So I settled into just disciplining myself and getting consistent.

Bad weather... Oh well!

I managed my way through February and ended up right at 100 miles.

Then into March. At first it was still really cold but then it started to warm up. Unfortunately with the warmer temperatures (if you call low to mid 30's warmer) also came the spring winds. Most days in the spring here there can be anywhere from 5 to 45 mph "breezes" and usually on the higher end of that scale.

Let me tell you, running into a stiff breeze in the cold weather of spring is way worse than running in a snowstorm in January.

When the wind feels like it's a hand on your chest holding you back, those miles can take forever to add up!

(Continued Below)

What Is The Price Of Your Victory?

But... How bad did I want that goal? Apparently, pretty bad!

I found myself drawn to be out running the roads no matter how bad the weather got. I remember one day trying to go 14 miles on a cold, windy, rainy day. I just couldn't make it. I totally ran out of gas at 12 miles and had to call home for a ride. But two days later, I was back out running again!

Then towards the middle of April and beginning of May I realized that I really was going to make it!

I finished another 100+ mile month in April and that left me less than 75 miles to go in May! That should be a piece of cake!

Plus, by now my body was fully recovered and back in great shape again! On my second run in May, despite the cold weather, I completely obliterated my best 6 mile time ever by almost a full minute. The funny thing was I didn't set out to do that. I just realized at about the 3 mile mark that I was ahead of my fastest pace ever!

So here it is May 12th. Yesterday I did a 6 miler that put me at 979 miles! That leaves me almost 3 weeks left to either run a marathon or put in less than an average week of running! I'll finish up what's probably the biggest, toughest physical goal that I've ever set for myself!

Now, I realize that a lot of big-time marathon runners probably put in a lot more miles than that every year to keep themselves in shape.

But I am just an average guy who took up running for fun and has done something that most people can't even fathom! Almost everyone I talked to about it just shakes their head in disbelief. It's one of those things that allows me the sense of accomplishment of having done something that most people aren't even willing to try!

Those are the kinds of victories that change your life!

Not necessarily that you were the best that ever lived at something, but that you proved to yourself that through a lot of discipline and hard work, that you could accomplish something you never thought possible!

(Continued Below)

Victory Brings Belief In Yourself!

For me, the take-home lesson from this past year, is to look at the rest of my life and determine in what other areas I can set similar goals. Goals that will drive me almost to an obsession to get better and accomplish some more things that I really dream of making happen!

Life is out there for the taking. Many people just naturally take to the goal setting process and it becomes a way of life for them.

There are a large percentage of the rest of us though for whom goal setting is not a part of our lives.

Some of us find it so uncomfortable, or have never found something we wanted bad enough to discipline ourselves to get it. Others of us, like me for instance, have found that the simple act of setting a goal would trigger some unfathomable rebellion response deep down inside us and we just wouldn't do it. Strange... I know... But real.

What I learned from this experience is that the goal has to be 100% completely my own, not something that someone else imposed on me or even suggested. But instead something that, deep down inside of me, I really wanted to accomplish whether it made any sense to anyone else or not.

When it was my own real heartfelt dream, then I would chase it until it became an obsession to get it. No pulled muscles, nasty weather, or disbelieving naysayers would keep me from getting it!

What is it in your life that you secretly want that badly? If you don't have something like that, I challenge you to start digging. Find something! Rekindle an old dream! Find something that you have to stretch to get and then create a plan for yourself. Create some charts and track your performance. Reward yourself.

Take my word for it, the sense of accomplishment that you feel from a victory like this will bolster your belief in yourself tremendously!

That's what we need in these times that try men's souls, the self-respect and sense of accomplishment that comes from the victories that we can all have in our lives!

Each one of us is capable of winning and excelling at something in our lives! Whoever you are, what ever your situation may be, you can have a victory in your life! In fact, you can have as many victories as you choose because you don't have to beat someone else to do so.

And...who knows? You might just inspire someone else along the way!

You only have to overcome yourself!!!

To wrap up this article here are the stats from a couple of my charts just for fun!

Cumulative Total Miles By Month

June 1,2010.................0 miles
June 30,2010..............71 miles
July 31,2010..............174 miles
August 31,2010..........268 miles
September 30,2010.....373 miles
October 31,2010.........510 miles!!!
November 31,2010.....550 miles
December 31,2010.....578 miles
January 31,2011.........626 miles
February 28,2011.......726 miles
March 31,2011............826 miles
April 30,2011.............929 miles
May 12,2011..............979 miles

21 more to go!!!

My Personal Records (PR's)

100 meters.............13.56 sec '06
200 meters............28.06 sec '06
1/4 mile...................1:03 min '06
1/2 mile...................2:42 min '07
1 mile...............................6:15 '10
2 miles..........................14:36 '08
5 kilometers................25:02 '08
4 miles...........................31:41 '10
5 miles...........................41:45 '10
6 miles...........................50:13 '11
8 miles........................1:11:47 '10
12 miles......................1:57:26 '10
14 miles......................2:16:57 '10
16 miles.....................3:09:26 '10
20 miles.....................3:48:22 '10
26.2 miles.................5:08:00 '10
(First ever Marathon!)
Best Distance In 1 Hr...7.1 miles
Max Distance..............26.2 miles
Most miles Per Month..........137
Most Miles 7 Days...................45
Total 1/2 marathons/yr..........9

The Power Of A Compliment

Reading this morning about the power of a sincere compliment!

That's a lesson that has been driven home to me very forcefully over the years.

Somewhere our society has developed this totally screwed up idea that saying something nice to someone else is this personal weakness called "brown-nosing". Also that becoming the King or Queen of the "put-down" is something to aspire to.

Why are we so gullible and foolish?

What I learned the hard way, is that every time I laid a great put-down on someone thinking to impress the others around me, not only did I not impress anyone, but I did immeasurable damage! Not only to the one whom I attacked but also to my own reputation!

Everyone around me was wondering what I said about them when their back was turned or when I might think it was socially to my advantage.

Stupid-stupid-stupid!!!

Do you think people will respect you more if they always have to wonder if they will be your next victim, or if they know their name is sacred with you?

People trust those who they feel like "have their back"!

So take every opportunity you get today to give someone a sincere compliment! Watch how it affects them and ask yourself if that doesn't make you feel good or what?

Think 10 years down the road. Will you have more influence in your world if you have made it a practice passing out compliments every day or put-downs?

So have a great day today and help someone else do the same!!!

The Power Of Association

One of the most powerful principles I've ever learned is called the "power of association" It says you become like those you most associate with!

Are the people we spend the most time with the types who are always encouraging us to excel at whatever we are trying to accomplish? Or do we spend our time with "friends" who are constantly telling us that we can't accomplish something because we are "this"... or we are "that"?

Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, find someone who already has it or something like it and will be your cheerleader or mentor and spend as much time around them as possible!

Things will begin to change when you put yourself in an "Atmosphere of Achievement"!

You can do anything you set your mind to! If you are surrounded by people who try to tell you otherwise...RUN!

Common Denominators

Ran into an old friend the other day and they spent the entire 15 minute conversation telling me how they had "told off" this person and that person and some other person.

What a sad way to live.

Kind of hard to have many friends when they always feel like they have to cuddle up to a porcupine to be around you!

If your life seems like a never ending series of rotten experiences, maybe it's time to wake up and look at the common denominator in all of the problems....you?

I'm not ragging on anybody here, just saying that life is a whole lot happier when you have a great attitude!

Realize that people make innocent mistakes, cut everyone a little slack, greet the world with a smile on your face.

Learn how to say, that's OK, and no problem, and I'm sorry, I didn't understand.

You'll actually be stronger for it rather than weaker!

Look for the good in other people and praise them for it!

If you think the whole world is out to get you, it's time for a reality check! News flash...the whole world is so busy dealing with their own problems that they don't have time to plan to make your life miserable!!!

So go out and have an awesome day! Whether the rest of the world wants you to or not!

Please and Thank You

All right everybody! Back to kindergarten! Or maybe back to Barney! Yeah the purple dinosaur!

Incidentally that's not back for me it's forward...and yes, I realize that makes me older than a dinosaur!

Please and Thank You ARE the magic words!

I was reading this morning about the power of sincerely using the words Thank You daily as often as possible! Seems to me that this is getting to be more and more of a lost art. My kids mumble it like it tastes bad and I see so many of us adults forget to say it on a daily basis that it amazes me!

This goes along so well with the idea of praising people that we talked about yesterday! Think about how it makes you feel when someone sincerely tells you thanks, sometimes even when you didn't totally deserve it!

When someone gives you credit for a great idea and thanks you for it, doesn't that just make you want to perform a little bit better next time! I know it does me!

I think that saying Please goes a long way towards changing our orders into requests too! Especially with our spouse and kids!

Big weakness there for this Dad! How about you?

Seems to me like for some reason we have really gotten away from these simple little common courtesies.

Please, Thank You, Good Job! All are great motivators and definitely build people up which is always a good thing!

Common courtesy, it's a good old fashioned value we need to build back up!

By the way, a big THANK YOU to all of you for your positive feed back and compliments on my posts! It's tremendously rewarding to interact with all of you!

Have an awesome day!

The Power of Praise

Reading in a book called, "How to Have Power and Confidence in Dealing With People!" There is a whole chapter just on the power of praising others.

Interestingly, he quoted scientific studies that showed that words of praise actually imparted a measurable increase of energy to the person receiving them!

I think we all kind of know that. But do we work hard to practice it everyday? I want to, but I know that I fall way short of being effective at it all the time. It is way too easy to find something to criticize and it just seems to flow out of our mouths without any effort.

Ha! Maybe that's the answer right there?

Anything worthwhile requires effort!

Hmmm...have to think on that one for a little bit!

Isn't our natural reaction to changing a bad habit like that, something like, aw...that's just too hard. It's not worth the trouble to change.

Well, I'm sure my kids and Penny think that it's worth the trouble for me to get better at praising them!

I know that, not only do I like a person better who constantly seems to be praising and sincerely complimenting me, but I'll also bend over backwards to do something for them if they need me too! Sound familiar?

Why don't we become that person who gives the gift of praise to others?

It's good for our marriages and our family relationships! It's good for our businesses and our church responsibilities! It's good for our jobs, our friends, our dog, and even perfect strangers!

That probably means it's good for us too!

The book said that studies are actually showing that praising anything, even an inanimate object like a plant causes it to perform better! There just seems to be some unexplainable actual power in words of praise!

It's probably another one of those eternal laws of the universe that God has been trying to teach us all along!

So have a great day!

Eldon Tapp thinks you are awesome and thanks you for being a great friend! I know you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to!

Family and Priorities

Pondering what to share this morning and the saying, No other success can compensate for failure in the home keeps coming to mind! Maybe someone needs to hear about this today!

Don't feel condemned if you haven't exactly gotten an "A" in this class so far! You can always retake the class with some extra wisdom under your belt!

Most of us would say that our priorities stack up something like this; God, Family, Country, Work, etc...right? But if we graphed out the way we spend our time everyday on a pie chart, I'll bet it wouldn't match up with what we just said our priorities were would it? Especially when we throw in things like electronic entertainment and sports right!

So here are a couple of hints that have blessed our lives! Your relationship with your spouse is the single most important relationship in your life. It's way too easy to let our kids take priority over our spouse.

Here are 3 books (besides mine!) that have had a major positive impact on Penny and my relationship: Personality Plus by Florence Littauer, 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Highly, highly, highly recommended reading for every married couple in the world as well as those wanting to learn to deal with people better!

With the kids, this principle from the bible has helped us weather many storms: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it!

In our society today, it seems like the standard is to send them to school and involve them in as many extracurricular activities as possible. While neither of those things is bad in and of themselves, I believe what we miss way too often is taking time to teach our kids the true principles that this world operates under.

When they understand truth, they tend to choose truth as a lifestyle. But when their perceived truth comes from a source that either ignorantly or purposefully teaches false ideas as truth they end up living a messed up life! They never seem to figure out that you can not live a truly successful life based on false principles, no matter how much you want to believe them!

If we say our family is a priority in our lives, then lets let our actions prove it!

Have a great day!!!

Urgent vs. Important

I've been thinking today about what's important vs what's urgent!

I talk to people all the time who are just too busy doing this or that to do something that might be really important in their lives.

Ever feel frenzied, frazzled, or realize that you're just busy being busy? Join the crowd!

I have a few suggestions.

First; Stop and smell the roses! Even dandelions will work! Just stop and smell something (beautiful of course)! Taking time out to ponder and wonder at this amazing world we live in is a great way to help us see our priorities more clearly! Busyness is really just a distraction.

In fact a mentor of mine told me recently that he considered Busyness and Laziness as two different symptoms of the same disease, Lack of Focus!

Second; Take some time out to examine your priorities. Figure out what is really important in your life and what is just urgent.

If you graphed out how you spend your time each day on a pie chart, would it reflect your priorities or someone elses?

Most of the urgent things will pass without any significant consequences.

Third: Spend your time (Your most valuable gift) only on things that really matter to your priorities and your life will begin to fill up with value and meaning!

Nobody on this earth is unimportant except as they allow themselves to be! No matter who you are, your life has meaning and it's up to you to find it and open the door!

Your life really is important in the grand scheme of things! If it doesn't feel that way, start looking at what you're spending your time on! Find out what your purpose is and pursue it with a passion!

Have an awesome day my friends!

Double Standards

I was pondering the other day why some people have such interesting belief systems in place in their lives.

I end up in discussions frequently with people who hold some really strong opinions about some thing or another only to find out that, if they really thought about what they were saying, that idea is not consistent with everything else that they say they believe.

It's interesting how easy it is to hold different subjects to different standards in our lives.

It's the old "Double Standard" idea. Or maybe "Riding the Fence".

I guess what it really boils down to is a saying that I love from a guy I listen to alot named Tim Marks, "I'm not going to try to tell you what to believe, I'm just saying to make sure you know WHY you believe WHAT you do believe!"

Sometimes when we really get down and think about what our beliefs are on any given subject, we should ask ourselves why we believe that way?

For instance, if we think that doing a certain thing is right or wrong, let's stop and look at the logic behind what we're saying and see if it's consistent with everything else we believe in life? Or are we just following a crowd of some sort?

Think about alot of our hot political topics today. Much of our conflict arises because some of us want to apply a certain standard of reasoning in this situation and that one but not in the rest of our lives.

It's okay to do this or that but if we dress the situation in different clothes we'd never agree to it!

Often it's OK for one segment of the people to verbally attack another, but if the second group responds in a like manner, they are accused of bigotry, hatred or fear-mongering, etc.

So let's make sure we are applying the same standards to all of our beliefs.

Seeking for truth is a much more healthy way to live than to have our poor subconcious mind trying to figure out our double standards and keep them straight!

Think about the why behind your beliefs and always seek for truth. Your life will go much smoother!

Have an awesome day!

The Power of Educating Yourself

In case you guys haven't figured out, I'm big on continually educating yourself!

I read one of the greatest paragraphs this morning describing why I feel that way. Thought I'd share it with you.


It's from Og Mandino's book, "The Greatest Miracle In The World". Here it is.


"For countless centuries man compared his mind to a garden. Seneca said that soil, no matter how rich, could not be productive without cultivation and neither could our minds. Sir Joshua Reynolds wrote that our mind was only barren soil, soon exhausted and unproductive unless it was continually fertilized with new ideas. And James Allen, in his monumental classic, 'As A Man Thinketh', wrote that a man's mind was like a garden which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild, but whether cultivated or neglected, it would produce. If no useful seeds were planted, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds would fall into the land, and the results would be wrong, useless, harmful and impure plants. In other words, whatever we allow to enter our minds will always bear fruit.


"Now (today) man is comparing his mind to a computer but his conclusions are the same as Seneca's and the others. The computer people have a phrase, actually an acronym, 'GIGO'...Garbage In, Garbage Out.' If one puts faulty information into a computer, out will come faulty answers."


Wow! Kind of hard to say it any better than that!


How often do we run into people who are spouting off "Faulty Information" and seem to be totally unaware of it? Could it be that they have allowed some "Useless Weed Seeds" to aimlessly fall into their minds and sprout and multiply into faulty conclusions?


The worst thing is that people like that don't even recognize that it is happening to them. They are content to go around embarrassing themselves unwittingly.


There is tremendous power in continually seeking for truth and filling your garden with the wisdom of the ages!


Have an awesome day!

Over-Reacting!

Penny and I were discussing a book we've been reading this morning. As we talked, I realized that anther idea was coming into focus! I was doing some research yesterday on marriage and divorce and came across something again that just seems to keep popping up.

It's this idea that when we encounter something we perceive as wrong, our natural human tendency is to over-react and go way too far in the opposite direction! What we should really be doing is searching for the truth and what is right.

We will never solve the problem by over-reacting to it, only by finding truth and applying the right answer!

I'll give you come potentially controversial examples because they clearly illustrate the point. Which is again, that aligning ourselves with truth is the only solution that ever completely solves the problem.

So let's look at three different situations that clearly illustrate what I'm talking about, that we are all familiar with.

First, a typical sibling clash at home. Second, the proper relationship of a husband and a wife in a marriage. Third, slavery and discrimination. Or almost any other social issue that we routinely argue about today!

In almost all of these issues, you will find the majority of people completely polarized on one side of the issue or the other, rather than seeking the truth, which normally lies somewhere in between!

Let's look at the typical fight or argument between our kids at home and then see if we have actually "grown up" as we examine the other two!

Typically, at my house, when I hear an argument start to escalate or someone start to cry, it goes something like this:

Waaah, he hit me! (a wrong action) Why? I don't know. I didn't do ANYTHING! (not quite the whole truth)

To the other sibling: Why did you hit him? He hit me first! I did not! It was an accident! Yes you did! He hit me on purpose! I did not! You did too! You were trying to hurt me! (still following me or do you already have this memorized?)

What really happened (the truth): "A" accidentally bumps into "B" maybe causing some pain or other problem. (original wrong action) "B" reacts with anger and revenge and hits back (usually harder) causing a downward spiraling fight or argument (over-reaction). Where was the truth? Who cares? As long as I get satisfied.

The reality is that the truth and the solution that would have made all parties happy was somewhere in the middle!

What about the proper relationship between husbands and wives in a marriage?

For centuries and maybe even millenia, misguided men and even entire cultures have treated women as second class citizens and even worse sometimes. (definitely a wrong action) Today we have morphed right through the push to get women equal rights and fair treatment into many women trying to treat men as second class citizens and neanderthals (over-reaction).

The real truth and the solution that brings real happiness and successful marriages is somewhere in the middle.

How about slavery and discrimination? Touchy subject? It doesn't have to be if we seek for truth and what is right here too.

Many of us, whether black, brown, red, yellow, or white, have ancestors who were slaves at one time or another in history. (an absolute wrong) What happens all too often in our world today is that we way over-react and although we all enjoy political freedom, we tend to divide ourselves up in groups and look down our noses at each other still. (another over-reaction)

The truth and the right solution lies somewhere in the middle again!

When are we all going to grow up and stop acting like little children and start looking for and acting on true principles that will lead all of us to happiness and success as a country?

The only way for us to overcome these problems is for us to understand that true happiness only comes when we put ourselves in harmony with the true principles that govern this universe! The funny thing is you can even enjoy the happiness that comes from this harmony without consciously aligning yourself with a principle! A principle yields results when followed simply because it exists! Interesting!

Put yourself on a lifelong quest for truth and act accordingly and your life will be constantly moving in an upward direction! But choose to try to fight against the truth and life will be a constant downward spiral!

Have a great day!

Divorce Statistics Translation!

We regularly hear that according to current statistics the divorce rate in our country is somewhere around the 50% mark.

That in and of itself is quite a sad commentary on the state of the value we place on marriage in our culture. But I believe it actually only tells part of the story.

Here are some other related factors to consider:

Out of that 50% who have divorced, how many of them went into marriage with an attitude of "We'll just see if this works out. If not, no big deal. We'll just go our separate ways"?

Then again, how many thought it was a joke or a whim in the first place? Zero sense of commitment or responsibility?

Then, how many went in with truly high hopes of a happy future of wedded bliss for the rest of their lives? Only to decide down the road somewhere that they were just totally "incompatible" or something similar?

Now on the flip side, let's look at the 50% who are staying married.

How many of those would honestly say that they have a truly great and fulfilling marriage? And how many of them are just tolerating each other to one degree or another for the "sake of the kids" or the commitment they've made?

Let's think of this in terms of a pie chart with some admittedly made up statistics here for the sake of an illustration.

Visualize a circle for your pie chart. If 50% of the marriages end in divorce, then we'll split it right down the center to form 2 halves, married on the right, divorced on the left.

Now let's divide up the divorced side.

Let's say that maybe 10% of those started out with zero sense of commitment to the concept of marriage in the first place. It was just something that sounded fun to do for a little while, but when we hit any bumps in the road at all, "we're outa here."

I'm going to put another 15% into the category of "yeah I like this person and it would be nice if it works out, so let's try it for awhile and see."

That leaves (and I'd bet this is fairly accurate) somewhere around 25% of divorcees who really wanted their marriage to work and intended that it should, but for whatever reason, they just couldn't figure out the correct dynamics. (Remember this group)

Next let's split up the married side:

I'd guess that there are maybe 10% of marriages that, if asked for a serious evaluation, would honestly say that they have a truly great and totally fulfilling marriage.

There will be another 15% or so who would describe their marriage as good, with some bumps here and there, but nothing real serious.

That leaves another 25% that are "tolerating" each other to a lesser or greater degree.

Maybe it's just an acceptable situation that may not be too bad, but it's not fun, enjoyable, rewarding or fulfilling anymore. But hey, we made a commitment and we intend to keep it come heck or high water!

It ranges from that all the way down to "we can't stand each other anymore but we're staying together for the kid's sake."

What this whole exercise in statistics tells me is, (First, about 85% of all statistics are made up on the spot to support your conclusion!!!) actually that we may be focusing on a smoke screen when we're looking at the divorce stats!

I believe that there are a huge percentage of marriages that we could save and repair and take to a whole new level of fulfillment if we could just teach them the unchanging principles that govern and lead to great marital relationships!

Will we save them all? I'm not that naive! But when you have 2 people of goodwill who just aren't getting along but really wish that they could, there is a huge reservoir of hope, if we could just teach them a few basic principles that most people never learn or are never even exposed to!

Here at the Marriage Mentors Workshops we teach 5 different core principles that govern success in any relationship you have but especially in your marriage!

So where ever you may find yourself on our "Pie Chart", if you are a person of goodwill, we invite you to come mentor with us!

Learn from someone who has been able to take our marriage to a whole new level of fulfillment because we learned some new principles and began to apply them in our marriage and family!

Come visit our Marriage Mentors Workshops blog for more info @

http://marriage-mentor.blogspot.com/

Great road trip!

30 hrs each way to Columbus, OH and back for a Leadership Conference with 3 friends!

Just for fun, I thought I'd share some of the highlights of what I learned. Some of my favorite thoughts.

When most people think of conventions, they think of a lot of rah-rah and hoopla. The reality is that there are some people out there who are combining some real, useful and practical wisdom with their fun too! Check out some of these neat thoughts!

First of all, why does studying leadership appeal to me so much? Well here's a definition that I really like that is really why I choose to pursue it myself.

"True leadership is the search for and application of truth in every area of your life. It's learning to live a principle driven life and influencing others to do the same."

I want to learn to be the most effective that I can at doing that. I still have a long way to go but hey that's what this life allows me to do.

Favorite thoughts:

Our cause is to lead people to truth!

Dreams come a size too big so that there's room to grow into them!

Change your label!

The fruits of the current starvation of our souls and minds from spiritual and mental nourishment are the social problems we are dealing with today!

All of the pundit's solutions we're hearing today are merely hacking at the leaves of the problem instead of digging out the roots!

God will put the right people in your path, but if you're not on the path yourself, you'll never run into them!

Until now there has not been an education system that teaches people how to recognize problems and solve them effectively. new ideas equip you to solve the problems in your life and help others to also!

This team will take responsibility for solving the problems of the world rather than passsing the buck to someone else!

Issues don't solve themselves, leaders do!

The more I read, the more I realized how messed up my thinking was. It was liberating!

The ability to fail and not quit is what creates lasting success!

I would rather be a player on a winning team, than the quarterback of a losing one!

An improved you is our product!

We're in a media war!

You're a champion the minute you leave it all on the field!

Let go of the "good" and grab the "great"!

Leadership is about standing in the gap!

A leader goes into battle when he knows a principle is in danger!

"Not on our watch!"

If you think your marriage is "OK", be sure to ask yourself if it's possible that Satan is blinding you to the whole truth!

How can we expect our wife to feel like a queen if we are treating her like a serf?

If our kids think they are the center of the universe, we're setting them up for massive failure later in life!

Guys, you are the quarterback in your homes. You are responsible , win or lose! You call the plays!

You can't correct your spouse to a successful marriage!

Marriage is something that you DO instead of something that you HAVE!

I'm grateful to be part of an organization dedicated to helping us get better in every area of our lives!

The Know-It-All

What's your reaction when you run into a "Know-It-All" or a so-called "Intellectual"?

I would hope that it's a mixture of amusement and pity rather than anger or something like that. I am amused and somewhat saddened when I run into someone who is such an "expert" in some field that they think it makes them an authority on everything!

The learned who THINK they are wise or who are ever learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the TRUTH present an interesting oxymoron of sorts.

One of the ancient Greek philosophers, I think it was Socrates, when asked if he was really the wisest man in all of Greece, gave an interesting reply. (paraphrasing)

"The more I learn, the more I realize how little I actually know!"

The more we seek for and find true knowledge, the more we see how much more is really out there for us to learn!

For instance, how often do we see someone reject religious truth on the grounds of some scientific theory or discovery? If God really did create this world, then every bit of scientific fact that we find has to fit in somewhere! If we don't see how it does, does that make God wrong? Or does it really reveal how little we really understand about absolute truth?

If your "Line of reasoning" leads you to a faulty conclusion, what happened? Somewhere back along that line, one of the "facts" or premises that it was built upon will prove to be faulty on closer examination.

Hopefully we are all wise enough to remain hungry students in pursuit of knowledge that will lead us to more wisdom. Then when our eyes are opened to a wonderful newpiece of knowledge that we will use it as a more powerful telescope to see even further out into the realm of possibilities!

I don't know about you, but the more I learn, instead of feeling like an expert, I am humbled by how much broader the truth is than what I would have ever imagined!

Love and Respect Whirlpool

Doing some prep work for our Marriage Mentoring seminar this weekend.

Rereading an absolutely great book called "Love and Respect".

I'm reminded that some of the most critical principles to success are some of the hardest for some of us to accept.

Loving your wife or showing respect to your husband at times when you feel like they may not deserve it, is one of the most difficult concepts to understand.

Yet it is one of the most powerful principles we can exercise if we hope to recieve the love or respect that we desire of our spouse!

But if they don't deserve it, I'm going to have a really difficult time giving it!

Fine, but it will drive a wedge between you that will be very difficult to overcome.

Do you ever feel like you're fighting a downward spiral in your relationship! This principle is most likely at the very core of what you are experiencing! Riding this roller coaster soon becomes more like riding a whirlpool down, down, down.

On the positive side, if your marriage is experiencing "technical difficulties" right now, one of the single greatest healing actions you can take is to put your own feelings to the side for a little longer and work at giving your spouse unconditional love or unconditional respect for an extended period of time.

Crazy as it sounds, men have a need to feel respected just like women feel a deep seated need to feel loved!

When either of us feels this need being filled, we tend to reciprocate automatically what our spouse needs!

Hope everyone,healthy marriage or disater, will take time to learn about this principle!

It's good for what ails you!!!

Building on Principles

Thanks for all the great feedback on my post yesterday!

When it comes to having a great marriage, it's pretty obvious that there are a lot of facets to deal with! But rule #1 is that it's not just going to happen with no effort!

One of the biggest lessons we've learned over the years is to try to learn the underlying principles that govern building a great relationship rather than to try to follow someone elses strategies.

There are some relatively simple things you can do that go a long way, but what I've learned is that if you don't understand the underlying principle, your "simple solution" may completely backfire!

If you want to have a truly great marriage, become an eager student! Be careful where you get your information though! Make sure you are learning from someone with "fruit on the tree" rather than from a marriage "expert" who has been divorced 8 times!

Don't be afraid to ask people who you believe have great marriages, what their secrets are and what they have read and are using in their lives!

I think most of us realize that we are all quite different from each other, but I don't think we very often find out why and what determines or defines the differences.

We need to understand that there are personality differences, differences between man and women, differences in the ways we express and feel loved, blueprints or paradigms from our past, and other factors that play into great relationships!

For instance, if we already have a great marriage, is it possible that it could even be a lot better?

Or what about the person who thinks they have a great marriage, then "all of a sudden" finds their spouse leaving them?

Did they really have a great marriage? Or was it that they were feeling totally fulfilled but their spouse wasn't? Hmmmm...think about it!

It happens often actually that one spouse may be feeling totally loved and fulfilled in a relationship while the other may be feeling completely ignored and empty.

Here's the secret. One spouse may have very real feelings of love towards the other and think they are showing it often and abundantly, but the other may not feel anything of the sort because it's not being shown in their "Love Language"! They just flat don't recognize it as love!

My encouragement is to never get complacent about the most important human relationship in your life! Keep asking yourself and your spouse if all of their emotional needs for love are being met.

You might feel you are bending over backwards to keep them happy, but from their perspective, they may not feel like you're doing anything important.

Remember, love is a gift we give to each other!

Avoid the trap of thinking that what love means is that we just end up having to tolerate each other for the rest of our lives.

Tolerance and forgiveness are vastly important but they should be tools in our toolbox used to fix the occasional problem. If they are our everyday uniform, then we need to step up and fix the problem, whatever it is, starting with us!

When it comes to a great marriage - If it is to be, it's up to me! ...To begin searching for some true answers and some sincere communication!

Being in Love!

Here's a great marriage principle that gets more and more clear as I get older.

How many of us have based our entire married future on the feelings we had when "falling in love" with our spouse?

Get this...scientific research is showing those initial euphoric "being in love" feelings are a physiological emotion that is designed to bring us together and get us started down the path of building a family.

But scientifically it's proven that that feeling just naturally dissipates within about 2 years on average! No wonder that so many people who build their entire relationship around just "being in love" find their relationships meaningless after a very short while!

The reality is that this time period of being madly in love happens to give us time to discover what real love is really all about, that is, serving each other in a way that is meaningful to our spouse!

Some few couples luck out and just naturally fall into that pattern. Others get along well and some just stay together out of a sense of commitment but the closest they come to experiencing real love is more like a sense of tolerance and drudgery.

How sad, when really the only problem is that they never were exposed to the true principles about how personalities and relationships work.

It's not rocket science!

It's actually fairly simple to comprehend. I won't say it's easy!

I'll be teaching these principles that Penny and I have learned over the last several years. It's a great way to strengthen an already good marriage or to totally revitalize one that is slowly coming apart at the seams or even already virtually lifeless!

Living a Great Today!

Don't let your yesterdays screw up your todays! Here's a great quote from a book I'm reading -

"I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day...The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history...We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday."

From - "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

How often do we let our yesterdays rule our todays and even our tomorrows? We need to learn the true power of forgiveness.

When we forgive others and even ourselves it gives us the freedom to start each new day at zero or in the positive instead of the negative. It frees us from the burden of having to drag around our bag of misfortunes, hurt, injuries and failures with us from day to day.

Talk about getting a monkey off your back!!! Why don't we drop that bag like it was radioactive waste and get away from it instead of cuddling up to it like we can't live without it?

Unburden, clean house, start fresh, forgive, learn the necessary lessons and move on!

Think about how much better our marriages, our jobs and businesses, our families and so many other things in our lives could be if we would just practice this principle!

Have a great new day!

Are You Leading Yourself?

Here's a great thought that I heard recently. Guys, it applies particularly to us!

"Normally when a wife doesn't follow her husband, it's because she doesn't see him leading himself."

Ouch! Anybody else feel slapped upside the head by that one? OK so what does it mean to lead yourself?

The way I see it we have to be continually growing, progressing and going somewhere. It's way too easy to get settled into our rut of just living for the weekend. Why not be chasing a vision of something big in our lives?

All we have to do is look at the world around to realize that there is no such thing as staying where we are at. We are either growing or declining. Those are our only two choices. Declining and going backwards is not an option for me! What about you?

I'm learning more and more the value of living life with a purpose and a goal. There's always something worthwhile out there to pursue.

I've heard the idea before that it's not so much what you achieve in the pursuit of a goal as it is what you become in the pursuit of that goal!

Until recently my response was always yeah, yeah that sounds nice but I want the goal. I finally realized what they meant when they told me that.

If I focus on becoming the kind of person that it takes to accomplish my goal, then I will have taken myself to a whole new level where, if I had to, I could accomplish the same thing again much more easily!

It's called "Becoming".

Living your life on purpose. Growing!

So no more living for the weekend guys! Lets start leading ourselves and see who gets into line behind us!

If what we're doing all week isn't rewarding enough, hmmm...maybe it's time to give ourselves a checkup!

Learners Inherit the Future!

Heard a quote that has great application today!

Wish I knew who originally said it. "In a time of drastic change, it's the learners who inherit the future!"

I think today would qualify as a time of drastic change! How many of us are being impacted by things that we feel like are out of our control?
I believe that whoever said this has a pretty good grip on the solution for us individually! How many of us are making learning a priority in our lives?

I'm not talking about just going back to school. All of the greatest wisdom of the ages is written down somewhere in books. Some of it can be tremendously dull and boring but there is a huge amount of interesting knowledge out there for the person who wants to better themselves!

All too often we look at economic change out there that threatens our current livelyhood as a real negative thing. I've learned that most of the time it is a great opportunity in disguise!

The only problem is that we have to be willing to learn new things and embrace change! With the incredible rate of technological advance that we have today, there are huge opportunities open to us that didn't exist even 6 months ago let alone when we got our original training!

Come along and join me in becoming one of those learners he was talking about!
Life is a great gift! Don't waste a minute of it!